Strength is being able to crush a tomato.
Dexterity is being able to dodge a tomato.
Constitution is being able to eat a bad tomato.
Intelligence is knowing a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is knowing not to put a tomato in a fruit salad.
Charisma is being able to sell a tomato based fruit salad.
Anonymous asked: how do you give a girl an orgasm?
I’m going to get a dog and name it “my boyfriend” so when people ask me what I’m doing, I can say ,”cuddling my boyfriend.”
"what are you doing"
"picking up my boyfriend’s poop"
My Boyfriend won’t stop trying to eat his own shit.
My boyfriend vomited what I think is a squirrel all over the kitchen.
My Boyfriend is in the corner licking his balls.
We had to take My Boyfriend to get his stomach pumped because he apparently decided it would be a good idea to eat an entire package of tube socks.